Redneck Economics

Say, old man what’s got your brow so furrowed today?

Well, Ida Red this economy has me in a dither.  Just filled the old truck with $3.30 a gallon with some part gas and corn sqeezings.  I still remember when I was 16 and pumping  gas at George Smith’s ESSO station I could fill up the mayor’s Buick DynaFlo for 24 cents a gal.  Other day I went through the 10-items-or-less line at the grocery store for $65.  Everthing is out of sight but, my income is, as they say, stagnant.  Now I read Oscammer wants to go another quad zillion or such higher in debt.  During a late night bit of communing with some adult beverages I came up with a way to turn this sucker around.  Pay attention.

The majority of the 53% that still support this country work with tools in their hand.  Right now every nut, bolt or screw is either SAE or that damn metric thing that was inflicted on the civilized world by the French.  Time was when I could look at a nut or bolt and reach into my tool box and get the right wrench. Now, it takes two or three trys to find a fit.  My idea is this:  Let’s start another cockamamie measurement system different from the current two.  We could call it OIMS (Obama Idiotic Measurement System.)  We then have the EPA, OMA, NEA or some other member of the alphabet soup of Moscow on the Potomac mandate that anything built here or imported must use all three systems.  See the beauty in this genius?  Everyone that does real work will have to buy another full set of tools.  Imagine the infusion of money into the economy and with trickle down economics everyone from tool maker’s employees to 7-11 stores will benefit.  If you want answers to any problem ask a redneck.  To see other brilliant ways to repair anything  go to this link thing on Owl Gore’s electric superhighway.

                                    http://whitetrashrepairs.com/

Three cheers for the southern part of the Hue Hess of Aye.

I Miss Grandma

Say old man, what’s up in your sad excuse for a mind today?

Well, Lurleen, Here’s my take on this sorry bunch of trash called the “Occupy Anything” crowd.  I remember in my early years anytime I had a foolish idea that I could interject a thought into a conversation when the “Grown ups” were discussing things I learned a valuable lesson.  My maternal grandma would say “Look sonny boy, children should be seen and not heard.”  If she were alive today she would take a few of this riffraff by the scruff of the neck and administer just such an admonishment.  Damn, I wish that would happen.

RedNeck History

Say old man, where you been for so long.

Well  Lorena, I’ve had other interests for awhile but, I’m back to spread more un-PC stuff.

When I refer to myself as a redneck there is a giant collective gasp from those in areas not of the southern persuasion.  My belief of being of the redneck variety is based on the understanding of its origin.

History Lesson – Pay attention:

During reconstruction there was an influx of northern nerdowells that infected our southern cities.  They brought northern money so they did not require employment and were just loiters who found fault with everything southern.  Much as the current crop of liberals.  When the local farmers and their wives came to town to buy staples these celluloid collar wearing loiters would laugh and make fun of the farmer’s redneck and how they were not cosmopolitan as they themselves.  The farmer’s neck was certainly red from working in the hot southern sun from sunup til sundown. A term we have for this is from can-to-can’t.  The farmer was producing food for and supporting the area.  The carpetbagger produced nothing.  It is in this vein that I refer to myself as a redneck.  I have worked hard all my life for what little I have.  The term has been bastardized in later years primarily by the media.  To that group the term redneck is synonymous with white trash.  These two are miles apart.  I am in no way white trash.  That term could more properly apply to the carpetbaggers of the past.

History lesson over:

Class dismissed.